To Be Near You, To Be Free
by Miss Romance-Lover
Summary: "He'd have seen right through you, you know." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah. But then so did I." "And yet you still love me," Robert grinned cheekily. Aaron stood up, gesturing that they finally head out into the pub. "Only if you buy me a pint."
A/N: This grew from an idea I've had for a few weeks into a bit of a fluffy, soppy thing. Also if you get to the end and think 'what, you're stopping there?' it's because I don't write smut lol. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, I've posted a few Robron drabbles on tumblr (username is golaulau) but this'll be my first one on this site. Thanks for reading.

* * *

 **To Be Near You, To Be Free**

It was Friday night and Aaron now had the whole weekend free. But instead of going through to the bar to meet Robert for a pint like he usually did, he sent him a text:

" _Come out back. x"_

The single kiss on the end of a text had been a recent thing; and it had been Robert who had started it. During the week of Gordon's trial, which had finished a couple of weeks ago with a guilty verdict, Robert had taken to texting Aaron last thing at night. A few reassuring words here and there, just letting him know that he was thinking about him and that he was always there. The second time he did this he added the kiss before he sent it, and without any mention of it Aaron had included one in his own reply. Now it seemed to have stuck.

They were together now; properly together. They hadn't gone further than kissing since their reunion; Robert still keen to take it slow after all Aaron had been through. But they both knew they still wanted each other. It was an unspoken promise between them, and one that kept Aaron from trying to speed anything up.

Robert appeared five minutes later. "Alright?" he asked as he sat down beside him. Aaron nodded.

"Didn't feel like a pint tonight, then?"

Aaron smiled. "It's Friday night, when have you known me _not_ to have a pint?" he replied. "Just wanted to ask you something first, that's all."

"Oh?"

"Got any plans this weekend?"

Robert smiled back. "Yeah, hopefully with you."

"Right well, don't get too excited but I was wondering if you'd come to Whitby with me." Aaron looked down at his hands in his lap, feeling a bit pathetic. But he'd made a decision to do something and he wanted Robert there with him.

"Sure, I've never been," Robert said easily. "What's in Whitby?"

Aaron returned his gaze to the man beside him and sighed. "Good memories. And there's…something I want to do there."

Robert waited for him to elaborate, but he seemed lost in his thoughts. He gave it another minute before he spoke again. "Hey. Tell me," he said gently.

"Skydiving," Aaron announced quietly, laughing a bit at how random it must have sounded. "And it has to be there. I have to do it in Whitby."

"I didn't know you wanted to try that." Robert was surprised, but intrigued.

"It's more like a promise I made to myself a long time ago. I took Jackson there on holiday with his mum after the accident. We were trying to get him to…get him to see that his life was worth living and I came up with the idea for him to go on this skydive. I was going to do it as well, but I bottled it. He could see how scared I was and he said it was okay; it didn't matter if I sat it out and just watched him."

Robert had listened in silence, stunned at the extent to which Aaron was opening up about his first love. "But he went ahead with it? Jackson?" he asked.

Aaron's face changed, smiling fondly at the memory. "Yeah. Hazel was a bit nervous at first that something would go wrong, and I suppose I must have been too otherwise I would have gone through with it myself. But the bloke that did the dive with him was an expert. Jackson loved it. It was amazing watching him falling through the sky like that. I think it was the first time since the accident that we saw him look happy."

"So you still wish you could have done it back then?"

He nodded. "He was right though, I _was_ scared. Only the thing is, since then I've faced a lot worse."

The statement hung in the air. There was nothing more that needed to be said to that.

"Listen," Aaron started. "I know it won't be your idea of a fun weekend, so I get it if you don't fancy it. Especially now I've just made you listen to all that stuff about Jackson."

"Aaron," Robert replied, resting a hand on the younger man's arm. "You haven't made me do anything. I'm here and listening because I want to be. I know I've said and done unforgiveable things to you over the last year, and the things I said about Jackson were ignorant and disgusting. He's an important part of your past and he'll always be there; I get that. If you want me with you when you go back then there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Their eyes locked again, and Aaron wiped at his eyes in an effort to stop the forming tears in their tracks. "Okay," he said simply.

"I'll even join you on this skydive, if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've done it before, when I was in Australia years ago."

Aaron smirked, trying to picture it. "Let me guess, you weren't worried about a thing beforehand."

"Er, actually I was terrified too."

"Right, but _you_ still went through with it."

Robert chuckled. "Only to save face. An old mate of mine talked me into it and he'd never have let me live it down if I'd backed out. It was basically all for a bet. I was glad I did it in the end though."

"I got plenty of stick from Jackson for not doing it," Aaron remembered then, thinking back. "He used to call me a wendy."

"A what?"

"It was a nicer way of saying I was a coward. I let him get away with it, though, it was just nice to see him having a laugh. Even if it was at my expense!"

Robert laughed with him, gave him an affectionate nudge. "Sounds like a right character."

"He was. He'd have seen right through you, you know."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. But then so did I."

"And yet you still love me," Robert grinned cheekily.

Aaron stood up, gesturing that they finally head out into the pub. "Only if you buy me a pint."

* * *

First thing the next morning they were both in Aaron's car as he drove them to Whitby. Robert had insisted on booking them into a hotel for the night, though he made it clear he wasn't making any assumptions when it came to their sleeping arrangements. He would continue taking things at whatever pace Aaron was comfortable with.

As it turned out, what Aaron wanted was for them to share a room and the same bed, even if that was all it amounted to. After all the time it had taken for them to finally become a couple, he didn't want them to be separated by a wall on their first night away together since….well, since everything.

While Robert had taken care of their accommodation, Aaron had made the arrangements for their skydiving adventure. It was going to be the first thing they did when they arrived, other than checking in and dumping their overnight bags in their hotel room.

"You ready?" Robert asked softly as Aaron parked up. "You don't have to make yourself do this, you know. From even the little I've heard about Jackson, he would understand."

Aaron gave him a grateful look at his sensitive remark, but shook his head. "I want to do it, Rob. Not just for Jackson's memory, but for me."

He nodded and they got out of the car. "Come on then, let's do this."

It didn't take long for them to get ready, changing into the appropriate attire and being talked through the basics. Aaron remembered most of it from five years before, even though sometimes it felt like an entire lifetime ago.

"So, you want to go first?" Robert asked him as they got inside the plane and prepared for it to take off.

"No, you can," Aaron replied quickly. When the response he got was a raised eyebrow, he added, "I'm fine, okay? Just don't want to go first."

"Right. The things I do for you!" The blonde man announced mock-dramatically. The two professionals they were each strapped to, complete with parachutes, chuckled at their banter.

When they were high in the air and ready for the big moment, Mark, Robert's companion for the dive, asked if he was ready. Aaron couldn't help smirking at his boyfriend's groan. "Just go for it," Robert said then, and he could detect the nerves in his voice.

Then Aaron watched as Mark threw himself and Robert off the edge of the plane. His hand went instinctively to his mouth at the sight – it made his stomach drop. Then suddenly he heard him scream; big whoops of delight as he fell from the sky. He strained to listen until the sound faded and Robert was simply too far away.

A few minutes later his own companion, Tom, tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "All set, Aaron?"

And although Aaron couldn't be sure that he _was_ 'all set', when exactly had he _ever_ been ready for any big moment in his life up until now? He hadn't been ready to lose Jackson by his own hands, but it had still happened. He hadn't been ready to come out in a courtroom full of his family and friends, but he had still done it. And he thought he would never be ready to publically name his father as a child abuser but that was exactly what he had done.

So he knew he could do this.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and with it letting all the tension leave his body. "Yeah," he told Tom before the older man brought them to the edge and pushed them both out into the air.

Aaron's breath caught in his throat for the first few seconds as they plunged through the air, and then he managed to get himself under control. He felt strangely weightless as they fell, and then he heard Tom pulling the parachute cord that would guarantee their safe landing. He let out a yell but there was no fear there any more, only absolute joy and freedom as he laughed incredulously and then whooped once again.

As they got closer to the ground he looked around, trying to spot a glimpse of Robert. It was only when they landed that Aaron saw him, running towards him with the biggest grin he thought he'd ever seen him wear.

Tom unstrapped them and stood up, and Aaron thanked him and explained that he wanted to stay put on the ground for a bit. He sat up properly and the other man nodded, wandering off towards Mark. Robert reached Aaron's side and joined him on the grass.

"So…how was it?"

Aaron turned to look at him and smiled. It was a peaceful smile, care-free and happy; the kind of smile Robert had never seen on him before. Something had shifted in Aaron during this skydive and whatever it was, it seemed to have done him the world of good.

"Brilliant. Yours?"

"Yeah, just as good if not better than last time."

He frowned at Robert, not following his train of thought. "Better than Australia? As if."

"It was! It was better because you're here with me."

Aaron nudged him playfully, looking away. "Shut up."

"You glad you did it then?" Robert asked him a minute later.

He nodded. "I get what he meant now," he mumbled quietly.

"Jackson?" Robert checked, but he already knew.

"Yeah. When he was a kid he used to watch the seagulls and think about flying. And I know after the accident, when we came here on holiday – he thought about it again. You know, what it would feel like. I think that's what the dive did for him; made him feel free. Just for a bit."

"Did it do the same for you? Did you feel free?"

Aaron thought about it and nodded again. "I can still feel it now. It's weird…all the stuff that's happened is still there but it's not weighing me down any more. But it can't just disappear that easily, can it?"

Robert took hold of his hands and stood up, easing Aaron onto his feet too. "Maybe it's helped it all sink in, everything you've been through in the last few months. And you _are_ free now, you know? It really is over, Aaron."

Now starting to feel the cold, Aaron wrapped his arms around himself and tilted his head back, eyes facing the sky for a few seconds. He had never given much thought about whether a heaven existed after death, but he knew Hazel liked to think that Jackson was 'up there' watching them. If ever that sentiment were to feel true, it would be today. _Well, if you are up there somewhere, that was for you, mate. Better late than never, eh?_ he thought, then lowered his head to face Robert again.

"I'm glad you're here," he said, louder than he needed to given how close they were standing to each other.

"Yeah?" Robert replied, beaming at him.

"Yeah. Robert, I…" Aaron trailed off, unsure how to tell him what he needed him to know.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I know."

"I _do_ have to," he argued. "After I lost him I thought that was it; I'd been in love and it wasn't going to happen again. Jackson totally changed my life, helped me find out who I really was, and…" he broke off, wiping his eyes. "Sorry," he said as Robert reached out to rub his shoulder in comfort. "This is the most I've spoken about him to anyone since, well since Hazel left to be honest."

Taking another deep breath, Aaron carried on. "Anyway, I didn't ask you to come just so I could spend all day talking about him, it's just that he made a big difference in my life and so have you. Last year mostly because you were a massive pain in the arse; and that's me being nice." Robert laughed, nodding at him. No arguments from him there.

"But this year you've been a rock. And you've just loved me, without wanting anything back. And I still haven't told you how I feel, not properly."

This was the most vocal Aaron had ever been about his feelings, even though in the midst of their affair it had been him to say those three words first. Since they had got back together his feelings had been heavily implied but it had still been early days. Now Robert stood there frozen in place, just waiting for him to say it.

"I love you," Aaron announced, his voice firm and his eyes shining.

"Aaron," Robert hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath until the name slipped from his lips. "I love you so much. Come here." He wrapped the other man in his arms and kissed him, gently at first until he felt Aaron deepen the kiss. "Okay, I'm taking you back to the hotel."

Tenderly taking his hand in his – much to Aaron's surprise - Robert led the way back towards Mark and Tom to thank them, and they then changed out of their skydiving gear and headed back to the car.

Once they'd arrived at the hotel and finally reached their room, the kisses resumed. Aaron had pulled Robert's shirt off and Robert was just about to return the favour when he remembered the way the younger man had reacted when he'd seen his scars at the hospital. He didn't want to overstep the mark; but funnily enough Aaron was thinking exactly the same thing about him and was now hesitating after dropping the garment on the floor.

"Sorry, I didn't think," Aaron said softly, staring at the floor. "I should have asked you first, but I kind of forgot about it. We haven't…since before you got shot." He raised his eyes to look at Robert's own scar, then met his eyes.

"It's alright," Robert replied. "I was about to do the same with you and then I thought…well I didn't want you to be worried about your scars, because after all the awful things I said about them before I wouldn't blame you for not trusting me. I'm sorry I ever put those thoughts into your head, you know. I didn't mean a word of it but that's no excuse."

"I know. And I do trust you." He pointed at his chest, referring to his t-shirt. "Take it off, yeah?"

Robert smiled, more than happy to oblige now. After following this order he led Aaron over to the bed and sat him down, running a hand carefully over the now fading raised marks. He kept the same hand connected to his body as he moved it slowly upwards, until he reached his face and once again pressed his lips to Aaron's.

"You sure?" he asked before things went any further. The answer may well have been obvious but it was important to ask the question all the same. There was no longer anything in the world more important to him than this man's happiness.

Aaron looked at Robert with the same shy eyes as that night in York when they'd promised themselves a future together, only this time there wasn't a trace of doubt to be seen. "Yes Robert, I'm sure," he confirmed before reconnecting their lips.

And before long he felt weightless all over again, almost re-living the high from the skydive. He felt loved beyond anything he could ever have dared to believe. But most of all, after all the years of pain and everything he'd let go of today, he finally felt free.


End file.
